Jalapeno crisps on McDonald’s jalapeno burgers cause weird sensations of the hot pepper opioid rush

10:28 PM 7/24/2014

I tried McDonald’s jalapeno McDouble today for the first time. The sandwich itself is pretty good, but there is a problem.

Just by themselves, without the sandwich, I tried some of the jalapeno crisps. I tried only a teensy piece, not sure how hot it would be.

I eat hot spicy foods frequently, but this has never happened to me before. I have heard legends of hot spicy foods giving you a rush of endogenous opioids, the body’s natural painkillers, sort of like a jogger’s high (which I have also never experienced, in spite of jogging a lot when I was young). I never experienced the rush from eating hot peppers. I just enjoy them, but not in an ‘opioid rush’ kind of way.

But this time, after eating only a tiny fragment of one little piece of a jalapeno crisp, my mouth was flooded with the weirdest sensation. It was burning, as expected, but it was something much weirder than that. It was a feeling of pleasure which was simultaneously unpleasant and horrible, a conflicting pleasure sensation which is impossible to describe. It was like, seriously, like a mouth orgasm, which went on and on and on for about five minutes after I ate the crisp. It was a weird, pleasant yet sickening, tingly tickly feeling of pleasure in the lining of my mouth, along with the burning pain. I have never, ever felt that before from eating jalapenos. It was only from eating this little fragment of a crisp.

Then, I started to feel dizzy, lightheaded, like I was going to pass out and like I was going to vomit. My mouth actually became unable to function, which was a problem because I was in drive thru taking orders, so I had to talk to the customers with a mouth that felt sludgy like I had been injected with Novocaine. My mouth wouldn’t move and wouldn’t form words properly. Again, this has *never* happened to me before from eating jalapenos. It’s not just from ‘not being used to it.’ I eat spicy foods occasionally or often without any problems at all. This was totally new and different.

And again, this was not really pleasant. It was actually kind of frightening, and it made me feel like I might vomit. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had eaten a bunch of those instead of one tiny piece – I really would have passed out and vomited.

So I became curious: what were the ingredients of these chips? I found the box and read it. Nothing special, just jalapenos, a little bit of oil, and a little bit of wheat flour. Nothing really unusual.

I think perhaps maybe they distilled the essence of jalapenos, like, dried jalapenos, or maybe distilled jalapeno oil – something much stronger than just normal jalapenos in their whole fresh form. Maybe they sprayed these chips with jalapeno oil, I don’t know. Whatever it was, it was wayyyyyy too strong.

Customers are already asking to buy these burgers without the jalapeno crisps on them.

I’d eat them with the regular tortilla chips instead, the ones on the barbecue ranch burger and southwest salad. I only recently started eating the barbecue ranch burgers, because we got a new container for the tortilla chips, a small container, so the chips don’t go stale anymore. People used to put them in a huge, open container, where they would dump an entire bag and then just let the entire bag go stale. I’d eat those chips and get charlie horses, which are caused by rancid oils in things that are stale and exposed to oxygen. Now that we only have a small container of chips open, they’re not stale anymore, so I’ve started eating the barbecue ranch burgers – only to see a little message saying that they were going to be taken off the menu! But anyway, those tortilla chips would be perfect for the jalapeno burger.

The weird mouth orgasm feeling didn’t happen again when I tried just a couple more tiny pieces of chips, and it didn’t happen when I cautiously put a few tiny chips onto the sandwich when I made one for myself. However, after getting a few bites into the sandwich, again I felt like I was lightheaded and was going to vomit and pass out. Whatever is in those chips, I dunno, it still has its effects even if you can’t really feel it because it’s mixed in with the sandwich. And I eat jalapenos all the time! It’s not a mere jalapeno that does this – it has to be something else, like distilled jalapeno oils or dried concentrated jalapeno powder, or something – something beyond a normal jalapeno. I don’t know if it’s a chemical change in the substance, or just a very highly concentrated form of it, which causes the strange reactions.

I don’t know if that sensation was the ‘opioid rush’ that people have always described from eating hot peppers, but I suspect that it probably is, and it’s not really pleasant. I mean, it sort of is, but it’s also very uncomfortable and connected to feelings of vomiting and fainting, which makes it not pleasant for me – I am emetophobic and I try to avoid vomiting at all costs. I’m probably scared of it because I have a small throat due to Weston Price face, skull, and jaw deformities, and when I was a child, when I would projectile vomit, I would feel like I couldn’t breathe and I was suffocating. Some people vomit easily without any fear, but I have never been one of those people. So I am not going to casually gulp down a bunch of
concentrated jalapeno oil to get an opioid rush, then vomit and pass out and say, ‘Ha ha! That was fun!’ which some people will do. But, well, I can say I’ve experienced it at least.

One Response to “Jalapeno crisps on McDonald’s jalapeno burgers cause weird sensations of the hot pepper opioid rush”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    http://exopermaculture.com/

    pain in food and ghost peckers…

    when your brain feels pain it sends out a rush of chemistry…

    these chemicals inhibit the pain response and maximize fly…

    cutters become addicted to their own neurochemistry…

    heroin junkies bypass their self and end with why?

    Stopped by to drop off the link to-

    http://exopermaculture.com/

    Hope you liked the poetic pain induced pleasure!

    ps- ghost peckers just because I had to listen to some random giaganticus associate ramble on about how good his buddies sauce was on my way into work last night!

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