A clean universe – how it’s supposed to be, for a while

3:57 PM 8/19/2013

The first couple days in a clean universe are good days. For a couple days, you get to remember what life was like before this disaster happened. I’ve changed into fresh, uncontaminated clothing, and taken a shower, and I’m wearing a brand new backpack. This good feeling is not psychological, but physical. All my other clothes and belongings had collected a bunch of different unknown residues over time, which could not be washed out.

Before I put on these new clothes and shoes, every time I stood up, I would get dizzy because my blood pressure was low. Now it’s back to normal, so that I can stand up quickly and my blood pressure is instantly what it’s supposed to be. Low blood pressure upon standing is a side effect of St. John’s Wort. I don’t recall the exact word for it, but it was something like ‘autonomic depression,’ or something, where some of your body functions aren’t working as well as they should, including blood pressure. When everything is functioning the way it’s supposed to, your blood pressure changes quickly depending on what situation you’re in, whether you’re standing or sitting or lying down or getting up after sitting down, whatever. There’s a name for this problem with blood pressure, something other than ‘autonomic depression,’ but I’d have to google it. Orthostatic hypotension.

There are things I notice when I stay at the hotel, things which aren’t necessarily caused by chemicals per se. The windows are closed. You can open them, but sometimes they’re broken and they won’t open. If you sleep in there all night long with the windows closed, the air gets stale and has too much carbon dioxide, so you feel like you’re suffocating in the middle of the night. I usually turn on the vent in the bathroom, which slightly helps. It pulls some air in from the hallway. Using the vent is okay unless there are people smoking outside down below your window. Now that I’m not living in a house, I don’t have any problems with windows being closed and the air being stale. But, one of the symptoms that seems to be associated with this is tingling in my feet. My feet will fall asleep too easily. That symptom is worsened by drugs and residues.

So many people go to the doctor, take drugs, and get worse, but I know the solutions to many health problems – not all, but many – so that you can change your lifestyle somehow to troubleshoot them. I know there are some general procedures you can follow to fix a lot of problems without even knowing for sure what exactly the problems are.

I’m expecting that my stuff will gradually get contaminated for a couple of reasons. First, I still have a few mildly contaminated belongings in a bag, which I did not finish sorting through. That bag is in my new tent now, the clean tent. Second, I believe that there might be footprints of residue on the main path, in the woods around the general area where I’ve been camping, and on the ground at the yard where I park my bike. If the concentration is low, then it will take a long time before I notice the effects.

My shoes will get wet, and I’ll notice that I’m getting manic when my shoes get wet, and then, that’s when my whole tent and all my clothing gets ruined, because I’ll get into my sleeping bag with contaminated feet, which will contaminate the inside of the sleeping bag and contaminate all of the clothes that I’m wearing and all of my skin if I’m not wearing clothes. The feet have to be washed very thoroughly over and over again, and fresh socks and shoes have to be put on, and even after washing, some residues remain. You have to wash them *a lot* to get most of the residues off to prevent contamination of the inside of the sleeping bag. In the future, it’s very likely that this will happen. It’s only a matter of time. That exact thing has already happened several times.

I remember moving to the new apartment in Bellefonte, which was clean when I got there. Gradually, accidents happened, which caused the apartment to get footprints in it. Some of it was because the maintenance man didn’t follow my rules. He walked over the spot where I was taking off my shoes outside the door, and walked into my house without removing his shoes, and made footprints of residues all up the steps. I think I did it myself a couple times, too, by accident, by stepping in the wrong place with my socks on, and that kind of thing.

I am not confident about my decon yet. I do not feel safe attempting to move back into an apartment. I’m thinking about all the luxuries I could have – a refrigerator, a stove, and a shower, and a feeling of safety during thunderstorms. I don’t need a lot of heat in the winter, not as much as is customarily used, since it’s there only to prevent the pipes from freezing. But since I have heat, I’ll crank it all the way up. When it’s there, I use it a *lot*.

I will wait a few weeks and observe the results of this decon. I am very cautious and pessimistic about it, knowing what I know about just how horrible these residues are, how they linger on everything they touch, how they keep coming back again and again just when you thought they were gone, like the zombies in a horror movie. They’re *exactly* like zombies. You thought they were gone, you thought you were safe, then all of a sudden one grabs you and everyone screams. That’s essential to the plot. There has to be some moment when everyone relaxes and thinks it’s safe when it isn’t really safe. That happens to me again and again with every decon that I do.

But today, briefly, for a few moments, I get to remember *almost* how it feels to be healthy. I’m still addicted to coffee and want to break that addiction. I’m still having some problems with residues. I was wiping off a few surfaces on the bikes and putting cellophane wrap over the pedals and handgrips, and I got hit with a residue, so that, a while later, I went into tobacco withdrawal. I had this extremely intense and uncomfortable craving for an unknown something, and it was all the worse because I wanted to resist it. I want to quit coffee again, but when you’re constantly under the influence of transdermal drug residues, you always have these cravings that get triggered every time you go into withdrawal from a residue. Only some of the cravings are from the coffee withdrawal itself. A lot of it is tobacco withdrawal – I do have tobacco in the residues.

The most noticeable and dramatic change that I saw so far was when I stood up from a sitting position and had no difficulty standing and walking immediately because my blood pressure changed the way it was supposed to, as I described above. That was a huge, dramatic difference. I was all anticipating the couple seconds of staggering and moving slowly and trying not to fall over, but it didn’t happen, and I just bounded away like a deer, with a spring in my step. It’s supposed to be that way.

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