“I want to be a woman’s slave” – the fantasy, and the disappointing reality.

9:03 AM 5/25/2012

I’ve been scanning the personal ads lately, in a passive way. I can recognize my duals sometimes. That doesn’t mean that we will necessarily get along with each other. In my past experience, whenever I’ve attempted to communicate with a certain kind of person online, he has this image of a fantasy woman, a porn star, a prostitute, someone who’s wearing the prostitute uniform, high heels, etc, someone who does everything that they do in porno movies, someone who talks a certain way. I’m not that kind of woman, and I don’t want to be that kind of woman. The people who expect to see that woman are almost always disappointed by the real me, by my plainness, by my total absence of desire to behave like a porno-prostitute.

I’ve seen something many times, and it’s always kind of tempting. It’s also sort of a pet peeve, something annoying. I’m tempted to answer it because it could be useful to me, but I know that in reality, it’s going to be just another person desiring a fantasy porno-whore in high heels and fishnet stockings and red lipstick and a miniskirt again. The theme of this ad is ‘I want to be a woman’s slave.’ I’ve seen this again and again.

I want to be a woman’s slave. Do you, now? Do you really? I’m tempted to answer these people, and tell them what it REALLY means to be a woman’s slave, and how it’s very different from their fantasy of being a woman’s slave, and about how the real thing is much more boring and mundane than whatever they’re imagining.

I’m not sure where or when I’ve talked to these people, but I have. I think I’ve seen them in chatrooms too. People who claim that they want to be a woman’s slave almost always want the same thing: I want you to sit on my face so I can lick your pussy three times a day every day, because that’s what you want me to do, isn’t it? And, alas, you can’t find anybody else on earth who will do this for you for free, because it’s SO DIFFICULT to find a man who wants to lick a woman’s pussy three times a day every day.

What is a slave? A slave is someone who physically can’t escape. They are forced to perform some type of work. They might receive food and housing instead of money. If they leave, someone might kill them or force them to return.

I need a slave, but I’m guessing that the type of master they want is going to be someone very different from me. They want someone to dominate them for the sheer enjoyment of dominating them. I, on the other hand, want to dominate someone in order to get them to do some kind of boring physical task that I don’t want to do, like the laundry. This is never what they mean when they say they want to be a woman’s slave. They mean that they want to have sex for hours and hours all day every day, and they want to demand that the sex must be done in a particular manner according to their particular fantasy. It has nothing to do with actual slavery or doing some kind of useful work that I will appreciate their having done. They would quickly become frustrated and annoyed if I accepted their offer and asked them to do some boring chores for me in exchange for food and housing. That’s NEVER what they mean when they say ‘I want to be a woman’s slave.’ And I might even consider giving them sex, too, as part of their compensation. But no, they don’t want to do any useful work for me.

Guys who want to be ‘forced’ to lick your pussy while you sit on their face are ignorant of the fact that actually, this is an extremly uncomfortable position and it’s almost impossible to have an orgasm while sitting on someone’s face, especially if your legs are as short as mine are. This position inevitably causes me to become very annoyed and angry at men who all mistakenly believe that women enjoy sitting on a guy’s face. All of the muscles in your legs are tense, but you have to be relaxed to have an orgasm. You’re focused on balancing instead of falling either forwards or backwards. Your clitoris is at a bad angle so that the guy’s tongue hits it in a painful direction, and all you can feel is the pain, or else it’s not getting hit in the right way at all, which is not painful but also not enjoyable either, and they’re just licking something in the general area of the clitoris. It’s hard for you to move around and adjust your position to get the guy’s tongue into exactly the right location. He’s likely to move along with you as you adjust your position, which puts his tongue at the wrong angle once again. He has to stay still while you move.

And what’s the point of all this effort and energy and exertion, while your leg muscles are still tense and in an awkward position, and your thighs start trembling and shaking, and your knees are pressed against either the hard surface of the floor, horribly painful, or else the knees are squashing deeper into a soft surface like a bed, in which case you feel like you’re smothering the guy. What’s the point of this exertion? Why not just do it the easier way and lie on your back? The point is to let the guy enjoy himself while fantasizing that YOU are enjoying yourself, when in fact you are not. If you can endure this for several minutes, without becoming angry, while he masturbates, he might be able to make himself have an orgasm, while you continue kneeling in pain and exhaustion that gets worse with every passing minute. He will be oblivious to your pain and discomfort and total lack of enjoyment and your ever-increasing irritation and annoyance, because it was fun for him.

That’s usually what men fantasize about whenever they claim that they want to be a woman’s slave – being ‘forced’ to do things that they themselves want to do, for their own enjoyment, which are no fun whatsoever for the woman, while they fantasize that the woman is enjoying it, while, in reality, she is actually becoming angry and frustrated.

Reality is so disappointing.

If a guy complains that it’s not easy to give oral sex to a woman while she’s lying on her back, I understand, but it’s also not easy to give oral sex to a guy, either, while he’s lying on his back or standing up or in any position. It’s unfortunately even more difficult when you have a tiny mouth like I do. I just hate the face-sitting position, and it’s one of my pet peeves, and it’s invariably associated with the guys who claim that they want to be a woman’s slave – always, their fantasy involves being ‘forced’ to lie comfortably on their backs while masturbating with a woman crouching in agony over top of their face pretending to be enjoying herself.

39 Responses to ““I want to be a woman’s slave” – the fantasy, and the disappointing reality.”

  1. ethaos Says:

    Reality is so enlightening!

    I left the orgasm video to steer you in a direction.

    You still are in the domain of dominance/submission…

    1963… Don’t bother watching th vid…

    If you really wanta know what the fuck is going on…


    Persaonally not sure bout da sci but know the petroglyph is reality!

    Why did they supress Velikovsky?
    Why did Einstein die days after he said he thought he was going somewhere?

    I think the man in the vid is mr. vortex…

    Not sure bout that but does not matter….

    A tent in da wilder twil not defend!
    Your bent in my garden can end….

    Open love will always ascend.
    Secret hate can never defend!

    Peace love and ……………..

  2. josh Says:

    Actually there are dudes out there that are into your definition.

  3. Nicole Says:

    It’s reassuring to hear that. I will have to look for some of those people.

  4. Dale Says:

    I am into the kind you are looking for. actually serving a woman. I would do it

  5. Nicole Says:

    I sadly regret that I’m not looking for anyone at the moment. But it is nice to know that some people will do it the way that I’m imagining.

  6. Kitty Says:

    I would deffinately fit your bill as well. This one was born with that purpose in mind. However although real slaves are a around but uncommon. Real dommes are also uncommon most this one have found just want money,sex,and usaully don’t wish to train a slave to fit their exact needs. I guess the overall message is their is bad in every group and don’t let it get you down. Search hard enough and you shall find.


  7. Nicole Says:

    Yeah, I think I will have to just find some other way to go about getting the things that I need. The ‘male slave’ idea was something that I considered. I think that I would have to provide for someone financially if I were going to do this.

  8. Kitty Says:

    Yea that is the downside to it. However because it is your property and you control every aspect of its life you could easily minimise its cost. It would be a win-win for a woman that owns a bussiness though. Especailly if the number of employees was right on the obamacare limit. She could fire a paid employee and replace with her slave. 24K in her pocket instantly and she doesn’t have to provide insurance for her employees. I have always hoped for some sort of a arrangement like that =). Do what works for you though its an interesting topic and you hit the hammer on the head with your first post. Glad i came acrossed it and got to leave my two cents =)

  9. Jordan Says:

    If you did ever change your mind and decided that this is something or someone you would actually want, please do let us (me) know.

    This is exactly what I want. I want to satisfy a woman (you) in every aspect of the word. Your wish is my command, dishes, laundry, etc…I would much rather give you a fully body massage, bringing you close to orgasm multiple times, lay you on your back and lick every inch of your body as you directed me. Of course a man looking to be a “sex” slave has the intention of wanting sex. But to me a true sex slave is at the mercy of his master, whatever that means.

    This is exactly what I want. I want to make your mind orgasm, I want you to emotionally cum. Thus making the physical the most intense experience either of us would ever have.

    I do hope you change your mind and see that there is a slave out there looking to be just that, your slave. I want to earn your body, earn the right to have you tell me what you want me to do to you after I’ve done everything for you.

    Yours Truly,
    Completely Willing

    PS, financial compensation not required nor wanted. Everything stated above is compensato

  10. Mark Says:

    You really nailed it with this post and I am happy to hear there are women who understand the role of a slave, however please allow me to give my two cents from the slave’s perspective.

    I have met girls that wanted to use me in the way you desire and I have actually been serving one girl for over 2 years, exactly as you described. My ordinary day usually involved waking up at 5 in the morning so that I could prepare breakfest for my girlfriend before I had to go to work. Working 8 hours and then shopping the groceries needed for cooking, actual cooking before 17 and 21, cleaning the dishes each time she was finished with food, occasionally even doing the laundry, and even doing her homework or helping her in some other way with her college (which she later abandoned because she had me to take care of her). Usually I was done with everything around 22h and by that time I felt so exhausted that honestly I had no energy for sex even when she wanted to. I can honestly say that I only had sex with her, because I was ordered, otherwise I would have much rather taken a nap – thats how tired I was after one year. Needless to say, after 2 years I felt so drained that in the end it was me that started complaining and the relationship was never the same.

    Things that I felt were severly lacking had nothing to do with sex or wearing sexy leather clothes, but with her failing to acknowledge just how much I was sacrificing for her pleasure and accepting her role as a Mistress. I mean, if a girl doesnt find any pleasure in things that usually turn slaves on and motivate them to be obedient slaves, then I do not see anything worthwhile in such a relation.

    When it comes to my needs, all I wanted was to feel like a real slave and not just a boyfriend who does all the housework. Does that make me the kind of slave you write about?

    How about calling me a slave for a change? How about going beyond the boyfriend who does the house chores? What about beating me when I do a bad job or just to remind me of my slave position? What about making me kneel infront of her feet and worshipping the ground she walks on, just so I could actually feel like being a slave? What about forcing me to sleep naked on the floor next to her shoes, just to torment me because she can? What about developing as a person through dominating me, instead of abandoning college, becoming lazy, over-dependant and completely spoiled?

    Now, if that qualifies me into the type of a guy you write about, then so be it, but my point is that we slaves are not machines and just as all humans we have our needs. When there is nothing preventing the slave from leaving, except the roles we are supposed to fullfill, I see little point in fulffilling the role of a boyfriend who does the chores and nothing else.

  11. max Says:

    i want to be a woman’s slave,i will serve her,i will obey her orders…if she tells me to suicide then i will suicide..if she tell me to lick her toilet then i will do it,i will lick her feet,i will smell and lick her socks and shoes..i will lick her socks and shoes even if they r used daily and are not washed for years,i will do anything for her..she will be god for me…..but my demands are……..her agae must be between 20 years to 40 years and she must be fair………..plzzz reply if is any woman who wants a slave…

  12. theone Says:

    i want to sell myself to woman who can own me as his own personal slave if you wish to buy me pls contact me on theone15041983@yahoo.com
    my age is 30 male im from india if you r really serious then pls send me mail

  13. Nicole Says:

    To everyone who has commented here, thank you, but I’m not looking for anyone right now. I was in sort of a strange mood when I wrote this post.

  14. ANBALAGAN Says:


  15. Nicole Says:

    I know, it seems like everyone wants to be a slave nowadays. Unfortunately I cannot afford to support any slaves at the moment.

  16. sandy Says:

    call me at 9988531461

  17. Iain Says:

    Hi Nicole,

    I’d like to put my name forth for consideration to be your full-time slave; I believe I conform to the type of slave that you are after. I’m happy to perform mundane tasks on a daily basis, if it serves to make your life easier or more enjoyable.

    With regards to finances, I would be happy to hand over my savings to cover any related costs. I currently have roughly £30,000 in savings, which I am happy to hand over. I am 25 years old and in good health – I believe I could serve you for many decades, should you wish.

    If you are worried about losing me as your slave further on down the line, perhaps I could have the words ‘Nicole’s Slave’ tattooed onto my body or forehead – I hope this would provide comfort that I could never return to my old life.

    If you are not interested, then I wish you luck going forwards.

  18. Nicole Says:

    You sound very nice. I’m in the middle of a battle, trying to decide about someone who I am sort of in love with or infatuated with right now, and I can’t give the attention that a slave would deserve at the moment. If I did accept you, I wouldn’t do anything like a tattoo, but perhaps I would ask you to grow your hair and beard long for me. But I’m sorry though, it will have to wait a while until I can get my issues with this other person resolved… thank you.

  19. Iain Says:

    Naturally slavery would involve doing everything I can to make you feel happier, more relaxed and more in control – growing my hair would therefore be no problem. I believe that every woman deserves to have their own slave; to worship every part of their being and to serve them unquestioningly – however I think you’re one of the few women who are interested in embracing such an opportunity.

    I understand your current worries and I sincerely hope that you manage to resolve them with a positive outcome.

    I will continue to save money for you and pray that one day I will be able to bow to you and spend my life serving you. I would require very little in the way of maintanence and would not request or feel the need for any affection – I would simply dedicate my every thought to you.

  20. Nicole Says:

    Thank you. And if you find someone else who is willing and able to give you what you need right now, I wish you the very best.

  21. jone Says:

    I love to be a submissive slave to any care missres I am humble guy looking for a missres

  22. Iain Says:

    Dear Nicole,

    I am curious to know whether you would be in any position to reconsider your need for a slave? I remain as committed as before to the notion of spending my life serving somebody, fulfilling their wishes and ultimately making their life easier and more enjoyable.

    As previously stated, I am in a position to hand over enough money to cover the financial costs of maintaining me as a slave, and I am willing to take any steps necessary to provide you with a peace of mind that I will commit to this long-term.

    If you still do not desire or require a slave, then I am happy to also extend the offer to Kitty. I believe that this is my calling in life.

  23. ssubslv4u Says:

    I would gladly be your sub or slave! I don’t mine doing house work or any other kind of work. I also love to give personal massages, but i am also human, i am also looking for someone to explore my submissive side, as i explore your Dominant side as well.

  24. i want a boyfriend Says:

    These thoughts will cause another psychological trick to kick in and
    he will start missing you. If you take this route you will give him a chance to get accustomed to
    the idea of being close to you without the pressure of feeling like he has to make a decision about whether or not to be your boyfriend right away.
    If your ex boyfriend perceives in your voice that you’re thriving as
    well as even better after the relationship ended, it will feel like a fast kick to their personality.

  25. Anonymous Says:

    I am a person who wishes to be dominated by a woman. I do not know what idiot would have the preconceived notions you talk about. The reason I want to be submissive is so the woman forces me to do what she wants, even if it does not please me. I do admit that all of this is in a serial context, but I entertain no fantasy of porn stars or sex all day long. Anyone who has ideas like the ones in your article are better off doing themselves rather than wasting someone else’s time.

  26. Your Future Slave Says:

    I want to be your slave. I will do your laundry and wash the dishes and whatever else you want me to do. When you are not using me I’ll bow at your feet. I will carry you to your destinations and massage you every night. I am your humble servant.

  27. The slave to the ladies Says:

    I don’t care who you are. If you are a woman I worship you. You are greatly superior to my pitiful self, and I believe I was born to serve you. Please contact me so I can be your slave. I will clean your house and live off of your garbage. I will sleep in the streets and bow at your feet.

  28. Nicole Says:

    Sorry for ignoring everyone’s comments for a while. I have been mostly off the internet while moving into a new apartment. This post has been one of my all time most popular posts, but I’m actually not looking for a slave at the moment, and I hate misleading people. I sort of have an intermittent boyfriend (for now)…

  29. Anonymous Says:

    shitty ignorant and naive article, stuff like bdsm is always that: fantasy, living out fantasies.
    i’ve you’ve ever had a little insight or clue of what is really going on in life instead of nagging you would’ve easily guessed that in dominance and submission the submissive is really in charge and wants responsibilites lifted from him. the objective of a good top is to play with and fulfill his subs fantasies.

    you on the other hand are an average lonely frustrated nagging female who’d really like to have a slave, just like most of you frustrated average women.

  30. iLikeYou Says:

    I’m willing to be your slave and do useful work, no sex needed. Deal?

  31. Anonymous Says:

    l will willingly do what ever you what your wish is my comand

  32. Hmmmmm Says:

    Of course there are dudes who fit your definition of what a real slave is like. They are called husbands.

  33. Tadesse Says:

    I can to lick your pussy more than three times a day
    Please call me : 00251912031935

  34. WTA Says:

    Well, in my experiences as a “slave”, it was my job to clean the house, my job to cook for my Mistresses, my job to help apply their makeup, my job to paint their nails, my job to give them full body massages, my job to drive them to and from work. That’s what my enjoyment was. There were sexual aspects I thoroughly enjoyed; however, I truly expect to be given a small sleeping corner and be bound in a way I can’t escape but can still function and do my tasks each day.

  35. Ara Says:

    I really like your article, it only 5 years old, but since my divorce in 2015 it’s hard to find a ” Real” women who not like a kid (below 35) who not interested in a domesticated stay home dad guy, who was a truck driver at night, and a dad during the day, which included domestic chores, which was both relaxing and also some excersise.
    So I still looking to find a Dom women for either full time or just play.

    But I really like your article, I almost never comment, except this one today.

    Thank you. And if you want a sub, I real.

  36. Ahmed Says:

    Hey beautiful my names Jamal I love for a woman to control me if interested 1850 485 3481 text me Jamal

  37. Madhumita Bisht Says:

    I want a slave. Not sexual connection. I want him to pay me through bank transfers or paytm. I want to beat him or her with a whip or smthng. I will make them do my work. Contact me- 7017206630
    I have one slave but he is not faithful enough now. Distant people can also contact me.

  38. ssubslv4u Says:

    Your totally correct!
    For me being a full time stay home dad, I did not mine doing the Lundry c or cooking, or anything!
    I even take out the garbage, wash the floors etc.
    But I also would build a special seat for the women to sit on, (comfortable) so that a man can give her oral. Without pain and discomfort to her.
    But as a slave, I also would like to find someone to protect me as well love me as I truly am.
    I am college educated, I been asking FemDom couples for as long as I can remember how to achieve this reality ?
    With a lot of work, it takes time, to be a slave, knowing the wants or desires of what ever Dom needs.
    I was in contact (still have it) with a women that’s 17 hours away.
    She wants a sub first, a guy who is a man, not a whimp. She wants a man to suggests different ideas to play with him, try it out, see if it fits than go onto more and more.
    She does want a slave, but that’s got a lot of devotion and commitment on both parts.
    I divorced, single and trying to find a women who will not use and Abuse you like a door mat (love to be trampled)? But I hope you know what I mean.
    I know I am a sub, but there too many guys who are into fantasy not reality.
    A while back, while I was still separated (was on the way to a divorce) btw I get alimony, I was the stay home domesticated slave dad (not to the kid).
    But this black Dom married her sub, she thought she has a perfect FemDom marriage, I just got into contact with her on Facebook, found out, he was also a Dom. She hates it.
    But that’s the problem?
    I in it for real, I do the full Monty and be a collared slave, but finding that women is a pain in the ass.
    (No pun attended)

  39. Mark Says:

    I want to be a woman’s slave

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